I think that if it weren’t for those dreams of A and I becoming better people if I didn’t give up on fighting for the friendship, I would have completely outed her out of any potiential in my life by now.
It’s good to know though, that we will never be more than friends, on my part, again.
I’m still really into Ryan… though I have this hunch that we won’t get married, he’s a lot like me and I like that.
I know I would never allow myself to assist her if it weren’t genuine, but I know that once in a while, if she needed help with a man, or with her man, like all other times I was proud of myself for giving my honest and unbiased opinion, even during times I knew it irritated the heck out of me.
It would be really nice to see her again. I want to believe she misses me, but I realize the she more than likely has moved on and doesn’t care. I wanted to believe she was just waiting for me to throw out a real opportunity for us to get through this so that she would not have to put her pride/relinquish a facade of power.
